Re: (treat as urgent)
Daniel Hoffmann
to William
Oh my goodness! You are giving me 8% of the 12 million dollars? That's $960,000.
That's nearly 1,920,000 tacos! That's 32,000 bottles of Grey Goose vodka (yum!)!
I have never imagined that I could be wealthy! Oh my gracious! My family has been living on a rotating diet of Macaroni and Cheese, Fish sticks, Top Ramen, and Spam for the past 3 months inorder to make ends meet. I have been skipping lunch all week because I have to buy new shoes. I would be able to put my daughter into a private school, instead of having her homeschooled with the Butcher's children down the street! (His wife is very smart, but she is on lexopro, and prone to inappropriate outbursts). God bless you!!!
$2300 UK, is that about $1000?
I don't have nearly that much money, but I think I can ask friends and family members to loan me parts! I would totally pay them back, and get the great presents!
With the remainder of the sum, I could start our own non profit organization! "The William Johnson Center for the Unfed," or something. What are the pressing issues in your country that you would like to help with? I am dedicated to humanity, so I would be willing to see this through to it's inevitable completion!
Thank you for trusting me with this noble goal, I won't disappoint you.
Yours truly,
Daniel Hoffmann
to William
Oh my goodness! You are giving me 8% of the 12 million dollars? That's $960,000.
That's nearly 1,920,000 tacos! That's 32,000 bottles of Grey Goose vodka (yum!)!
I have never imagined that I could be wealthy! Oh my gracious! My family has been living on a rotating diet of Macaroni and Cheese, Fish sticks, Top Ramen, and Spam for the past 3 months inorder to make ends meet. I have been skipping lunch all week because I have to buy new shoes. I would be able to put my daughter into a private school, instead of having her homeschooled with the Butcher's children down the street! (His wife is very smart, but she is on lexopro, and prone to inappropriate outbursts). God bless you!!!
$2300 UK, is that about $1000?
I don't have nearly that much money, but I think I can ask friends and family members to loan me parts! I would totally pay them back, and get the great presents!
With the remainder of the sum, I could start our own non profit organization! "The William Johnson Center for the Unfed," or something. What are the pressing issues in your country that you would like to help with? I am dedicated to humanity, so I would be willing to see this through to it's inevitable completion!
Thank you for trusting me with this noble goal, I won't disappoint you.
Yours truly,
Daniel Hoffmann
posted by Spam at
7:05 PM
1 Comments:
So I'm doing a few things here. First, I'm lowballing his price. 2300 pounds is closer to 5000 dollars, so I'm going to see if he corrects me, or if he's lazy enough to try and get whatever he can.
Second, I'm setting up the abject poverty of my family, which will highlight the ultimate tragedy of his attempted scam. I continue to hold his hopes up that I can send him money.
By
Spam, at 10:36 PM
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